Excuse Me, Is This Your Knife in My Back?

There aren't many standup comedians who I like. I don't mean their acts, I'm talking about the actual person. I can count on one hand the number of comedians who have tolerable personalities. The most common offending attribute is nonstop talking and not listening. Typically, they talk about other comedians and how they aren't funny/shouldn't be in the position they're in/slept their way to the top, whatever. After Eliza Schlesinger won Last Comic Standing in summer 2008, not one comedian I spoke with said she deserved the award. They talked about how her boyfriend is a successful comedian and how he must have kicked open the doors for her.

None of them said, "I'm glad she won because I know her." That's how I feel about it. I'm glad she won because I spent a weekend working with her at the Comedy Castle in Royal Oak six months before she scored a spot on the show. She was just another comedian trying to break out. Which is what she still is, after winning the big prize - just another comedian trying to break out. Last Comic Standing is no American Idol when it comes to producing the Next Big Thing. It's a silly show that entertains millions for a few months and the winner is cast aside for more important TV viewing like America's Got Talent. So I don't know why we can't just congratulate her. It's not like she actually won anything important. Throw her a bone! Her boyfriend did. Ooohh! Snap! Seriously, she has no business being a comedian. Have you heard my latest bit?