Thursday, December 2, 2010

Boner tubs and depression dolls

This country's real creative brainpower works for the drug companies. That's where the best and the brightest develop new illnesses for our victim-based economy. From dry eye and active bladder, to restless leg syndrome and old fashioned menstruation. It's like they've cured everything and now they're just making shit up.

But what I just don't understand is how their TV spots ever get the green light. American pharmaceutical ads are chock full of strange visuals. So much so, that sometimes I feel like I'm the ignorant one. Certainly I must be missing the obvious sexual overtones of two separate, side-by-side claw foot tubs on a hill. A man in one, his female partner in the other. The ad is for the erectile dysfunction drug Cialis. A drug for making a penis hard and erect. But why individual bathtubs? What is this - a 1958 sitcom with separate beds for husband and wife? Are they promoting good sex or secluded masturbation?

And what's going on with the Pristiq antidepressant windup dolls? Have you seen these spots? Usually a woman, with her family romping in the background, sits mesmerized by a tiny plastic windup toy that looks like her mini twin. The expressionless toy churns its feet rhythmically toward oblivion. The family gathers around and takes some mild pleasure in watching mom stare creepily as her Chinese import alter ego drones forward. This is the Pristiq version of mental health. Perhaps they want to discourage their users from original thought. Just keeeeeep taking the piiillllll. Or maybe they're alluding to the affects Pristiq delivers: numbness and ambivalence. A lobotomy in pill form. After an evening's onslaught of big pharma TV advertising, perhaps a lobotomy is just what the doctor ordered.